The Million Hoodie March?

Criminal Wear

Perhaps someday we will know what happened between shooting victim Trayvon Martin and his alleged killer George Zimmermann. Surely, we can all agree that the violent death of an unarmed teenager is a bad thing, whatever the circumstances.

Having said that, I must say a word about the plethora of “million hoodie” marches sprouting up around the country to protest this sad incident.

At my local bank branch, there is a sign on the door which reads something like this: Before entering this building, you must remove head wear, scarves, and dark glasses. Being me, I have often wondered whether the bank has yet been sued or cited by the ACLU or some other organization of First Amendment ambulance chasers, like Amnesty International.

Obviously, my local bank branch manager neither cares about his (or her) customers’ attire, nor does he (or she) wish to be hauled in front of the Thought Police. So why the sign? Could it have something to do with the fact that the preponderance of bank robbers, smash and grab jewelry store thieves, and other such criminals are almost always dressed in hooded sweat shirts and dark glasses? Just asking.

Yes, I know: Not everyone dressed in a hooded sweat shirt is a criminal. However, most thieves and other street criminals seem to prefer the hooded sweat shirt-dark glasses look. And even white guys so dressed are likely to evoke a reflexively suspicious response from his fellow Americans. So perhaps suspicion of hoodie wearers isn’t about racism or “hate.”

I actually own a hooded sweat shirt which I was wearing while walking around mid-town Manhattan a couple of months ago. When I pulled up the hood, my wife gave me a horrified look, observed that I looked like a criminal, and demanded I wear my beret the next time. Obviously, she preferred to be out and about with a presumed French intellectual rather than a guy who knocks over convenience stores.

Mmmmm…Which is worse -a French intellectual or a purse snatcher? (I’m thinking, I’m thinking!) But since that night in New York, I have refrained from wearing the hood in public. I recommend that others of all races, religions, and genders do likewise…unless, of course you are a criminal or wish to be thought of as one.

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