"I've Never Told Anyone This Before"

Ann Coulter on her allegedly outrageous remarks about John Edwards:

…I can only speak to the first 45 minutes of Elizabeth Edwards’ harangue [on Hardball], but it mostly consisted of utterly dishonest renditions of things I had said on my “Good Morning America” interview this week and a column I wrote four years ago. (You can’t rush Edwards’ “rapid response team”!) She claimed I had launched unprovoked attacks on the Edwards’ dead son and called for a terrorist attack on her husband.

These are bald-faced lies, and the mainstream media knows they are lies. Yet they were repeated ad nauseam on Wednesday by The Associated Press, the AOL pop-up window, CNN, NBC and — stunningly — the host [Chris Matthews] of the lowest-rated cable show himself, who personally told me he knew the truth.

…Here is my full sentence on “Good Morning America,” which the media deceptively truncated, referring to a joke I told about Edwards six months ago that made liberals cry: “But about the same time, you know, Bill Maher was not joking and saying he wished Dick Cheney had been killed in a terrorist attack — so I’ve learned my lesson: If I’m going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.”

…Judging by his fundraising efforts so far, I gather most of you don’t know who John Edwards is — unless you’re an overpriced hair dresser. He’s the trial lawyer who pretended in court to channel the spirit of a handicapped fetus in front of illiterate jurors to scam tens of millions of dollars off of innocent doctors. According to The New York Times, Edwards told one jury: “She speaks to you through me … And I have to tell you right now — I didn’t plan to talk about this — right now I feel her. I feel her presence. She’s inside me, and she’s talking to you.”

Let me also quote from campaign consultant Bob Shrum’s book “No Excuses”:

“(Kerry) was even queasier about Edwards after they met. Edwards had told Kerry he was going to share a story with him that he’d never told anyone else — that after his son Wade had been killed, he climbed onto the slab at the funeral home, laid (sic) there and hugged his body, and promised that he’d do all he could to make life better for people, to live up to Wade’s ideals of service. Kerry was stunned, not moved, because, as he told me later, Edwards had recounted the same exact story to him, almost in the exact same words, a year or two before — and with the same preface, that he’d never shared the memory with anyone else. Kerry said he found it chilling, and he decided he couldn’t pick Edwards unless he met with him again.”

Apparently every time Edwards began a story about his dead son with “I’ve never told anyone this before,” everyone on the campaign could lip-sync the story with him.

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